RIP LESLIE NIELSEN

UNHAPPY JACK

GET WELL SOON, MICHAEL DOUGLAS

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/08/17/michael-douglas-to-undergo-treatment-for-cancer-115875-22493007/

NEW MEL GIBSON TAPE SCANDAL!

"You’re a fucking mentally deprived idiot...you’re a fucking using whore…I own you. You don’t count. Why can't you be more like that fat funny fuck James Corden? His World Cup Live show was fuckin' funny, you bitch!"

I'LL MISS YOU, BIG GUY

By Vinnie Jones

RIP Dennis Hopper. Dirty Den, Dennis the Menace, Denny, Den, Big D, the Hoppernator. These are all names I never called you because we never met - but I still feel like we're the best of mates. After all, we're BOTH Hollywood royalty, wild hellraisers from different generations who are united by our respect for this great noble art of acting.

I'm amazed you never came round for a kickabout with lads like Dusty Hoffman, Ally Pacino, Bobby Duvall (Bald Bobby I call him!) or Geney Hackman. I even let that lesbo Streepy have a kickabout once!

Now I guess you're taking corners in heaven, while raising hell in, erm, hell. RIP big man. Go fast, Easy Rider, take the road at Speed. Erm...those are the only films of yours I know, sorry. You weren't really very famous.

Anyway, why did you never come round for a kickabout? Do you think you're too good or something? You fucking cunt. I'm a legend! Star of Legend of the Bog, infact. Who are you? Some old nobody. You don't even deserve to go in goal (that's Tommy Berenger's job).

RIP DENNIS HOPPER

THE CUNT TAMER

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/vinnie-jones-left-nursing-bruises-after-fight-with-fellow-actor-tamer-hassan-1954850.html

NOT ABOVE THE LAW

Steven Seagal: Sex Pest

http://movies.msn.com/the-wrap/steve-seagal-sued/story/?GT1=28101

MASSIVE FACEBOOK AND TWITTER CAMPAIGN FAILS TO BRING COREY HAIM BACK TO LIFE

"Come on God, you can do it if you really want to! We could keep Corey alive for another 30 years for the price of one meal for Chris Moyles"

COREY ON DYING

RIP Corey Haim, star of The Lost Boys

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8560246.stm

2050: MICHAEL CERA STILL PLAYING AN EFFEMINATE 16 YEAR OLD BOY

BUZZ GROWING AROUND VINNIE JONES' LATEST ACTING ROLE

But only because he's acting by a beehive

VINNIE JONES TO RECEIVE POSTHUMOUS OSCAR

Only on condition that someone kill him first

I BLAME TOM HANKS

Mexican drug gang emulate "Wilson" in Cast Away

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1242243/Murdered-mans-face-stitched-football-warning-rival-drugs-gangs.html

DB 2009 Review: TV & FILM

In January, another shit series of Celebrity Big Brother launched, while Maxwell from BB6 revealed he'd found a cure for cancer.

The sequel to Slumdog Millionaire, 'Ghetto or No Ghetto' is announced, TV bosses search for the next Noel, and the banker is killed by activists on Deal Or No Deal.

Become 'Jordan's New Worst Enemy' or Jack Tweed's New Best Cellmate in rival shows.

More 90s TV shows make a return, Bring Back Columbo fails and Channel 4 is turned into a Hollywood movie. Elsewhere, scientists go back in time to extend the 1980s, in order to create more pop culture to remake now, and a man gets stuck in an 80s training montage.

Robert Mugabe's past threatens his X Factor place, while on the show, Danni's offensive comments to Danyl offend Stephen Gately to death and Robbie Williams gives an eye opening performance.

Liam Neeson's wife is TAKEN, but Jeff Goldblum didn't die after all. Finally, a manchild learns to grow up in every Hollywood comedy made in 2009.