Tuesday, August 3, 2010

IT'S RAOUL MANIA!



He may be dead and buried, but his legacy lives on! The popular hero is the biggest dead star to hit Britain since Princess Di lived up to her name!


All across Britain, "Raoul Mania" has infected millions of "Moatamaniacs", young and old - and it's already making a huge impact...



  • Sales of suncreams have PLUMMETED, as people try to emulate their heroes ruddy red face, and sunbed use is also up 60%

  • Similarly, cases of skin cancer have ROCKETED

  • A survey of young people revealed that an ambition to be a celebrity, singer or footballer have all been replaced - with Doorman at number one, and nutter at number 2.

  • The doorman industry has had a new lease of life, with record numbers pouring in, eager to be the next Raoul. "At this rate, there'll be no one in the club as everyone is on the door", one senior figure said, "and that's no good as then we'll have to beat each other up instead of clubbers".

  • Steroid use is up 64%, and the average British penis has shrunk by 3 inches

  • Traditional names like Jack, James and Sarah are out - and Raoul is in for boys, Raoula for girls.

WHERE WILL IT END?


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