"That's why I was laughing, honest"
No less plausible than his last excuse
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
TWEED: I DON'T WANT TO BE ENGLAND MANAGER
Jack Tweed has publicly ruled himself out of being considered for England manager, but says he's flattered by the mere idea (his mate had).
Although Tweed doesn't think he'll be venturing that way any time soon, he thinks it's a great privilege that his mates suggested it, and revealed that he's certainly open to other offers.
A source said yesterday, "Jack's England through and through and he'd love to take the job if it was offered to him, but he's concentrating on keeping his head down after his wake-up call".
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
OUTRAGEOUS! PAEDOPHILE LOSES JOB TO EASTERN EUROPEAN IMMIGRANT
There was outrage yesterday when it was revealed that hard working paedophile Mike Jones, 38, was being let go of his £28,000 a year job running a local newsagent, supposedly because of his "heinous crimes"...only to be replaced by an IMMIGRANT.
Angry Mike blasted "all I did was quickly touch a kid in the park, they told me it would be OK. But then some namby pamby do gooders heard about it and stuck their oar in, losing me my job. What are my kids going to do now, the ones I abuse every day?"
Worse, Mike's job has now been taken over by a Romanian, who doesn't even know the first thing about running a newsagent, or accessing child porn. "It makes me sick", Mike lamented, "another important part of British life being lost forever...soon all our child porn will be made in Brussels"."
Thursday, June 24, 2010
SNEAK PREVIEW OF MARK CROFT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/news/a232573/mark-croft-to-write-book-about-katona.html
I was fookin drivin me car down the street when i saw this fit fookin fat ass in a pair of tracky b's so I spat out me ribena and shouted "oi luv, get your laughing gear round me nob" and she turned round and laughed and it was that fat bird from them adverts for that posh food and she got in the car.
Then the fookin bitch bought me 9 cars and we had 2 kids. Then we split up. I hate the fookin cow. The end.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
IT'S GLASTOMANIA!
Everyone's gone totally Glasto mad as the world's biggest festival opened its gates yesterday, with fans pouring in from around the globe for a slice of Glasto magic.
"It's like, totally Glasto", one reveller said. "I couldn't Glasto miss Glasto". "I Glasto", another agreed, "you've got to Glasto at Glasto to be Glasto".
With bands including Muse, U2 and Coldplay (probably) playing, this is sure to be the biggest, best Glasto yet.
Organiser Michael Eavis certainly hopes so. "Glasto", he said, smiling.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
PETE'S CONUNDRUM
"I hate those foxes for attacking those kids mate.Naughty little blighters.
But what if a fox cub attacked a kid? Then it would sort of be a kid itself. I just wouldn't know what to think. Blub"
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
ON DESPERATE PR MISSION, BP BOSS ACCIDENTALLY YAWNS IN TEXAS FISHERMAN'S FACE
Then accidentally blows nose on American flag and wipes arse on Obama's tie.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
HEZBULLARD
Footballer Jimmy Bullard hs become a Lebanese paramilitary, in a move that many had seen coming for a while.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)