BUNTY IN HIS PRIME
After the tawdry scandal that has seen John Terry stripped of his captaincy, many in Britain are demanding that his replacement be totally morally upright and 100% blemish-free. Rio Ferdinand was penalised for forgetting a drugs test, Davod Beckham had sex with Rebecca Loos, Steven Gerard was caught up in an ugly assault and Ashley Cole is a bit of a nob, so who can it be?
The FA today unveiled their replacement - 1950s English football star Roy "Bunty" McMahon, a fine upstanding chap who played for just three bob a week, washed his own kit and thinks a WAG is a fellow whose a bit crude with his jokes, and a roast is something your mum gives you on Sunday.
Some have questioned the wisdom of giving McMahon, now in his 90s, the role of captain, but the Daily Mail at least are happy - "It's actually NOT political correctness gone mad", a spokesman said.
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